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everything's whatever

by no momentum

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  • limited first press cassette - white tape w/ purple + maroon splatter
    Cassette + Digital Album

    hand-dubbed, splattered, and packaged cassette pressing of "everything's whatever". features a 4 panel j-card

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1.
yr telescope 01:48
hey, i thought i caught you looking at me through your telescope and oh, i was baked and i flaked, i whispered what i spoke: "i'm not defined by rhymes or lines or lies i tell as i yell while i break fucking guitar strings and hope you'll at least pity me or tell me it was pretty neat to save my soul from its own defeat" "oh god, he's self aware!"
2.
gts 02:27
my brain feels like it's overloading and saying, "oh, you think you know self-loathing?" but i've got great methods of coping, countless bowls i'm smoking and friends who'll keep me from strolling into traffic but friends leave and climb up social rungs and when the smoke hits my lungs it doesn't take too long till i'm right back at step one so i will call you every night when i'm freaking the fuck out you're probably used to it by now you've probably got your script out: "so when you go to sleep, they will cleanse you of your sins they will let you start again, you'll remember all your friends and all the times that you guys killed or that you spent." you always had this way with words that got me back into my head but do i need that? i don't need that (but could you please stay on the phone?) but i guess enough is enough one more thought before you hung up you talked about a boy who asked for too much i didn't fucking listen, i sat and i shrugged "so when you soon wake up, they will know just what you did they'll be coming for your head, they will tear your soul to shreds so i suggest you run and hide while you still can." maybe not the words i wanted, but i've got this blood on my hands and i can't clean them
3.
not my home 03:33
you said you couldn't bear that weight and i just never knew what to say so i said, "... ... ..." again i know the walls are closing in you feel scared in your skin you build a city made of sheets i haven't seen you for some weeks i wanna visit soon, see the pillow fortress peaks i've been there too, you're sinking deep now you're trapped here in this hell and the bastards seem to have the lead as far as we can tell and that empty feeling comes and goes but it's sticking more than fleeting then you said, "this body's not my home anymore" "it's not my home anymore" well i loved you and i still do and i did too when you bid farewell to me and everything i couldn't dream of how things would be i don't think i'll ever get it and i don't think i'll ever forget it from the outside gazing in at you i'm sorry
4.
"you're good for nothing," caught me brushing off my problems put em up on a shelf that i can't reach "say you stand for something but you're bluffing all you wanna do is lay down and die on a beach" i hear you mutter, "stupid fucker," as i rest my head on your chest pretending to sleep i start to blubber, hold me closer, tell me, "go back to bed, you're just having a bad dream" (but i am) i'm fucking trying but when anything goes wrong, i feel like crying and when it's right, it's not enough so when i'm driving who's to say some painted yellow lines can quell impulse? but that's not me, no, that's the disease trying to push how it thinks things should be and maybe i'm damaged goods but i'm good, i'm good it'll be so good so soon you can only hope
5.
take a look in your heart and see you're far from fine but you're trying and rest assured you'll sleep so well tonight and every night, like a loving mother she'll lick your blood and stitch your wounds while you lie in slumber so i resign this life of mine to your design; i'm out of time which you could use to make me new to replace my black hole heart with good and my entrails with daisies i wanna pretend to be clean i wanna say what i mean i wanna mean what i say i wanna sleep through less days i wanna patch up my brain don't wanna have to explain myself, my thoughts, my ways i wanna stop the picture from being: me, covering my face ashamed, afraid like a child ~~~ (you've activated our hidden track "passenger"!) ~~~ i'm good to go, i'm all dolled up i'll keep my heart balled up and toss it right into the trash i'll be your passenger my seatbelt's fastened, sir i'll keep my hands and feet inside if you keep it moving fast i feel like when i was young again and you are heaven sent you'll come and we'll take to the skies i'm tucked beneath your wings i swoon just as you sing is this the one? are you glowing? is this the light? but heart says, "forward" and brain says, "wait, are you prepared to die alone out in space?" well? what ARE you scared of?
6.
handing crowns out since you found out how another person's art can penetrate your heart shocked in earnest when you learn this self-serving human has a more devious plan but i, i am pure my art, it is pure let's play who can say the most things everybody wants to hear then let's see who'll be the ones who look back down with a sneer the ball's in your court, steer the discourse don't sit on your hands or they'll move onto other plans deify me, crucify me when i make a mistake put my head on a stake and when the blood drips down my severed neck let it stain my crown in crimson red and when the life has finally left my eyes let the next one step into that light that's not my burden i'm my own person
7.
i brush my teeth until they bleed is this coming clean? i roll my eyes, repeat that lie again "yea, i'm coming clean" a new man, a new day the same plans, the same mistakes the disgrace on my face will stay until the end of days comes you crash your car into a wall you say you're nothing, i say, "you're all of everything to me" a long term plan: an ampersand embroidered on a towel in our kitchen in the light of day, you feel safe to say "please stay until the end of days comes" (i did not choose you i was molded in your form you spat on dirt i was born and i've since been bored my whole sad life)
8.
i can't eat or sleep or dream cause my mind's playing tricks on me worn down by reality oh, where's the humanity? watch as i stay safe and sound and sit on my hands and scream too loud live life like war of attrition while sins of the chosen go forgiven the other shoe's gotta drop go to bat for millionaires who'd end you for a bigger share it's never gonna fucking stop when the knife is at your throat will you just laugh and let it go cause there's no other way that it can be? fuck the rich who fuck the poor and fuck armed police at our doors the buck stops now
9.
donettes 05:46
"you can't even speak your mind what makes you think that you could handle mine? chasing sunsets, hoping moon forgets to rise but life abides by rules you don't make "so what made you think that you could outrun time?" "so tell me what you want, what you really really want, oh" i'll tell you what i want, what i really really want i want you and i under a cotton candy sky in a house on the moon where we could stay and watch cartoons or game shows, or whose line or nothing, it's all fine i'd feed you donettes like grapes from the vine and i could be yours and you could be mine that's fine
10.
with a foot on the land and a foot in the sea i stared off into the distance looming endlessly as i was lost in the horizon, i knew how small i seemed and somehow i felt better cause everything yea, everything's whatever with your hand in my hand, i put my foot in my mouth now you could never give a damn what i'm talking about you said, "i never loved a sucker or a fucking burnout" cause that made you feel better and everything yea, everything's whatever i'm waiting for some things to fall together so i can start living but every way that things could pan out plays inside my head every second that i'm breathing, when i'm sleeping in your bed can never seem to stop the room from spinning, lay and wait for death or just pretend, yea, just pretend cause i had that dream again that song came on, the guitars screamed again i'll smile and pretend it's not happening again

about

"everything's whatever" is an album about the anxiety, dread, and hopelessness experienced in the modern world.
about the intricacies of human relationships.
about depression/trauma and where they stem from.

and ultimately "everything's whatever" is about attempting to make sense of the mess we're living in while pushing forward and back against the shit that dragged you down.

credits

released February 14, 2020

no momentum is:

kelly bowman - guitar, vocals
dan watkins - bass
marty headley - drums

~

"everything's whatever" was recorded, mixed, and mastered in poughquag, ny between december 2017 and october 2019 by ronnie scocozza.

all music written by no momentum.
all lyrics written by kelly bowman.

photography by robin schnepf.
photo editing and layout by kelly bowman.

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about

no momentum Poughkeepsie, New York

we have impeccable hygiene

marty - drums/vox
curt - guitar
dan - bass/vox
kelly - vox/guitar

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